Marathi movies...

I like good Marathi movies. Some where down there they make me nostalgic and give peace of mind.

I yesterday watched the movie "Mi Shivajirahe Bhosale Boltoy". The movie started and finished as I had expected it for most of the scenes. Good movie. Gives nice message. Talks and shows lot of dramatic scenes. Director makes a very good attempt. Point is how much will people take in and how much they will remember. It is easy to get inspired, have the adrenaline rush in the blood for quite some time. They way "Rang De Basanti" did for many people. Point is people should remember it for long time. People should remember that a certain 26/11 incident happened. Point is people should remember the train in which they travel could get exploded and they could be the next victims. But as we are humans we have short memories. We get busy in our daily work. We forget the losses unless they cost us really good. Like unless some body in our family dies, in such incidences its just a mental show and trauma for others for some days. Well, I know many of us feel the same way.

I like many other movies which handle many other issues so well. They portray the real Maharashtrian culture, mostly from middle middle class families. I would like to classify middle class as lower, middle and upper. These movies show lot of hopes. Lot of positivity. Lot of emotions and the real life situations. They teach lot of good values and lot of good lessons. Post "Shwas" marathi cinema produced lot of good movies. And everytime I watch them, I feel extremely proud. I feel extremely nostalgic and emotional and sensitive. People ignore these movies saying they are serious movies. Well, I will say these people really do not understand the real movies. They just want to watch mediocre movies which make nonsense jokes, pathetic acting, monotonous dialogues. I like many of the marathi plays and some humorous marathi movies. They make me laugh. Make me feel energetic with refreshing change. Makarand Anaspure makes me laugh with most of his movies. Bharat Jadhav makes me sick with his monotonous acting. Prashant Damale takes me back to the good old romantic days where Marathi plays show a halaka fulka romance between him and his heroine. It feels great to keep watching them. Marathi movies could also be classified into two separate categories as films based on life in Mumbai vs films based in life in Pune. Some how every movie in Bombay portrays the same struggle, tensions and things which a Mumbaikar always faced. I feel bad to watch it and I feel bad to see how life could be so hectic. "Sariwar Sari", "Dombiwali fast" etc etc. Most of the Pune based movies show lot of educated middle middle class background, lot of positivity and great hopes. It feels great to watch them and remember good old Pune days. Some times it feels bad to understand that Pune is also changing at fast pace with lot of chaos, loss of peace and loss of the old culture because of the IT culture. Some developments happen at some costs. It feels bad though.

In all I somehow rate Marathi cinema much higher than its hindi counterpart. All of this happened post "Shwas". The way hindi cinema changed to a lot extent after "Dil Chahta Hai". And I feel so good that it happened.

Jobs .....

I have appeared in numerous interviews till now in my career and yet I am baffled with the process of Interviewing.

Earlier I used to think that Interviews are a process of testing your intelligence. This was a sweet assumption I carried in my mind for a long time, till recent years. But slowly as I changed different companies, appeared in different type of Interviews. Understood the nitty gritty of the process, slowly I have started hating the process of Interviewing in most of the companies. I can count only few companies which really make intelligent interviews. Most of them are like your preparation and appear tests, if you know the standards of Interviews for most of the companies you can crack them. Experience is a different concept altogether. I am not talking about it, but about the art of Interviewing once you get a call.

Jobs. Earlier I used to feel jobs are great. I am the first one in my relatives or family to be in the corporate type of jobs and hence never had any exposure of any type of the culture and fine details. I had to learn every thing on my own about this culture. I made huge mistakes during this time because sheer lack of exposure to the correct set of environment. Very few people get lucky to start their career with right attitude and amongst right set of people. This comes with an experience which comes from family mostly. The sad part about most of the people is, they do not realize this until late and once they realize it, they do not have time to revert back many things. So once upon a time I used to feel jobs are always great and they allow you to explore the creativity and curiosity and allow you to succeed always. Soon, this feeling faded and I had to search for a new option. MS happened out of this. Many times I mention about this in my posts. There are many regrets in heart, that things should have proceeded in this way or that way. These regrets appear mostly because of comparisons with the people, friends who are doing better than me. The feeling of regret used to be tremendously strong earlier, now slowly it is fading and the acceptance of the situation as it was and as it is appearing.

So my tryst with jobs always continued. I never liked what my employer told me to do. Because I mostly knew I could do better and what he is asking is not always in best interest of mine. Sad part of Indian software industry is it is to the core mediocre and it does not do justice to the talent most Indians have. Well, then one can argue, which Industry does justice to the talent of Indians? Not many frankly. Because we in India are trained to behave as slaves. Our system makes us behave in that way. Our education teaches us that. Our education teaches us to not think independently. It does not teach us to think freely and take charge of our own lives. We produce thousands of engineers every year. 75% of them are useless and are unemployable. What is the use of such an education if it offers only degrees for the sake of status and whose real value is zero in the market? 90% people surrounding you are mediocre who do not have much exposure or motivation or that zest to come out this rate race. But again this is comparison and that is why it hurts. Its comparison against a developed world where things are a bit different. People often do not chose what they want to become or what family they grow up in. To a large extent that decides mostly what values they carry later in life. I feel bad about the way things proceed.

I feel so bad when I look at the talent we possess but the lack of opportunities we get. I feel Americans most of them lack common sense and the other side of life, to a large extent because they never really get exposed to a large variety of problems that most Indians face. They never understand some harsh realities of life that most Indians have to understand. Very few of them are extremely intelligent and achieve so much because they have a better system to support them. They create such great software products because they have that culture. We miss that culture though we can do equally better. We miss the system. We miss those opportunities. That is why you see a Google, a Microsoft, and numerous other successful companies owned and created by Americans. We lack that. If you see our entrepreneurs, you will see a lot struggle, a lot hardships full of the entire lifetime. The recognition is achieved after once prime life time is over. It is not same in US. Whatever I write here, is felt by many Indians, I am just putting things in words.

So somehow I always felt what is a job? Everytime I appeared in some interview, I always felt this is not the way an interview should go. Everytime I appeared in an interview I always felt, this interview could have been better. I always felt its not test of intelligence but a matter of standard set of questions. And slowly that great dream of jobs are great vanished. There are very few companies which actually do great interviews. Google, apple, facebook and some other companies which understand the process of interviewing and the terms Intelligence. I by no means proclaim I am a genius but mostly I feel one should understand some such techniques. Jobs are jobs. They are the hard reality of life and they are the ones where you spend most of your lifetime. It better be good and enjoyable. But mostly 95% of worlds jobs are mundane and boring. Slowly one accepts this reality. Slowly I accept that everybody has their limitations. Only thing that frustrates me many times is when people proclaim that they are so cool and full of humor, that they do not care about the jobs and job is just a side line for earning money to support a lifestyle. I find these people hypocrites who inspite of not knowing many things and why they function the way they do, claim to know everything and demean you. I feel pity about them. I hate jobs and their mundane nature.

But again they are the stark reality of ones life. And I admire those people who manage to break out of this jinx and have their own identity. I so wish, someday, to some extent I would be able to achieve atleast something like that. But again, wishing and achieving are two different things. Many people wish many things. Only few really manage to achieve things.

My Day.....My Graduation, A big day .....

Finally I graduated, well not technically yet, but conceptually.

What does that mean I will explain soon. A big day for me. Well, to some extent I had forgotten that I am close to graduation. I was too tired after all the hard work and the uncertainty that lies in the future. But today, once I was amongst the crowd and amongst the fellow graduates, I was suddenly cheerful. Suddenly a great excitement came in me. It was a great moment. A great moment which I had never thought would come so fast. Suddenly 2 years seems to have passed so fast. Everything seemed to have gone beside so fast. It seems time flied so fast. So many experiences and so many bad/good memories. When I take a look back now, things seem so different.

I was not so happy till I went to my department today. I mean I sadly was comparing myself with all the PhDs that were around me who were graduating with me. Who had struggled even harder than me. Who had spent more than 5 years doing research and great work. In front of them I was nothing. My accomplishments were so less. That is the sad part of being a Masters student, you always have PhD students to compare yourself with, professors compare you with Phd students. Professors give more time and attention to PhD students. Masters student though do equal work as Phd students for first 2 years, always get less recognition. So somewhere down the line, I had that thought lingering in my mind. I was thinking, what did I achieve? What great work I did? I was comparing myself with others. Clearly I was grossly wrong. But his is how somehow you feel when the atmosphere around you is like this. I am in a university where 95% students are Phd students. Well I really wanted to do a Phd and if God permits some day I will again be back to school and complete it. Lets not talk about it it now. The conditions at present are not supportive for that for me.

So slowly I recalled all the memories of my past, my struggle to understand this system. My struggle for doing research, my struggle for taking care of responsibilities of family and doing studies, my struggle to survive, my struggle from my days in Pune and the struggle I took to be here where I am at present, the struggle of my family, the struggle and support of my friends. And suddenly I felt so confident, suddenly I felt so accomplished,so deserving, so successful, so glad, all the bad memories went away, all the struggle seemed worth it. A look back filled me with a feeling of gratitude towards my family, towards my friends, towards my near and dear ones who helped me being where I am at present. Towards my critics, towards all the people who made me what I am today. It felt so great. It felt so worthy. There was a peace of mind. that was a great moment. It was a cherishing moment and a big smile appeared on my face.


Many people helped me in my struggle. Many people supported me in my hard work in different manner. I troubled many people in my immaturity and impatient nature during all these years. May people helped me understand what I am and what my problems are. I felt regretful of all the things that I did during all these years. I am deeply thankful to all these friends, family, closed people who made this day possible for me. Its a really big day. For a small village guy, who grew up in a village, with not enough resources for education, who was so immature till recently, who struggled with finances, who struggled for keeping his ambitions high, who struggled to keep a close family even though he grew up in a hostel since 5th standard and never witnessed what a family life is, what a home cooked meal is and what fun is, because he had to take lot of responsibilities so early in his life as early as a 5th standard kid. This is the day of the guy who constantly felt an innermost urge to help people understand the value of education in bringing prosperity in families and surroundings, bringing exposure to people so that they can think wisely, and who always thought of other people before himself and for whom an innermost satisfaction is the most important thing. This is a big day for me because I could see a great satisfaction in my parents eyes when my professor praised me by saying "he is a good responsible person and he will do good in life". Its a great day to see that happiness in my parents eyes of having their son achieve this feat. Managing 36lakh Rs as expense that went in my Masters, on my own is not a less big task without any loan. Somehow I managed to achieve it. Doing lot of experimentation that I did is not so easy. As another professor who spoke today during function said, well I will write it separately in a later paragraph. I came here when I knew nothing, when I was innocent as compared to other students around me and who did not know much things. I created and still commit lot of mistakes. But I grew up in the process and learned important lessons in my life. UCSC will have a great place in my heart. This was a nostalgic moment.

This is a big day for all these self claimed accomplishments. This is a day when I want to celebrate myself and pat myself on my back. This is a day which will stay special in my heart always. This is a day my parents will cherish always.

Professor's excerpt. "You are engineers. You are here because of all your hard work and struggle and the sacrifices. You are here to observe, question and analyze. You are here to break rules and form new paradigms and bring changes to our society. You are the ones who have the responsibility to see a better future. Learning should never stop. What UCSC has given you are the tools to learn. Your employer will never want you to learn, the society will never want you to learn. Its you, who should have that innermost desire to keep on learning, questioning and understanding. Its you who would really make the difference in your life. Its you who will commit lots of mistakes and who will fail. Its you who will get up and learn from the mistakes and move ahead in life. Making mistakes is good because that shows you tried doing something differently. Do things differently and do not regret the mistakes that you did. Learn from them and understand them. The more mistakes you do early in your life, better person you will become. Recessions will come and go. Its you who want to understand what you want to make out of your life and how you want to shape it. More challenges you have, more tough you should get. So be a better person and a better engineer.". It was touching and so relevant.

I am so happy today. Class of 2009, we did it. We are proud of ourselves. Hurray !!!!
Thanks God, for being there for me and helping me out in all my difficulties. Thanks my friends for being supportive and thanks my family for the sacrifices and pains and struggle you went through. It all seems worth now.

p.s. Technically I am not graduated yet as I have to yet submit my final thesis, on which I am working. So its a conceptual graduation.

This is called Happiness...

So finally my parents are here ...

I had never thought that bringing them here would be so smooth. But then as a close friend of mine suggested, it must have been my strong desire to get them here coupled with well wishes and help of others who helped in making this possible, that must have worked in my favor. Everything happened so fast. From the day I got this thought of getting them here, to getting their visa stamped, all happened in 15 odd days. God was surely with me. I believe he has been with me during my entire stay in US, otherwise I would not have been able to stay alone in this odd country with no close friends and no relations and the tremendous stress of graduate studies. I remember 3 more students from India who came with me, left the course in between and lost the struggle. Believe me, student life in US is extremely hard, it does not look as easy as it looks.

I remembered the days when I landed in US. How everything was so new to me. How I had to explore everything on my own. Most of my friends back in India and my family got to know life in US because of me, through my writings, talks. But when I arrived here, everything was as fresh as a new experience. I tried recalling how I felt then. And I try recalling how I felt now. I am settled now. With understanding the life in US, its problems and its benefits. I tried going back to the mode when I was here and things were new, so that I could fill in my parents shoes and take care of them from that angle.

I could see the excitement of all the things on their face. I stay in the best part of US and Santa Cruz is an awesome beautiful place to live in. My parents are fortunate to witness all this. Suddenly my apartment which never heard any noise is used to lot of talks and is lively with my mothers curiosity. From showing them how to interact with locals, to the party culture of US, to showing HOT girls and bikini babes, to the drug addicts, to the sex and booze culture, to the university crowd, to the studious graduate students, to the research departments, to roaming around on beach for a leisurely morning and evening walk with the local Americans jogging with their smiling faces, to having food in different International cuisine restaurants, to showing different colors in flowers and fruits, to occasional fellow Indians spotting, making them visit my professors house attend get togethers in American families, to the core professionalism and discipline and comforts, I am showing them all. Point is they should witness and experience the American culture, in its bad and in its good. I am making every attempt to make them understand the problems and benefits of American system. I am making attempt to keep their enthusiasm alive by making them visit different places first with me and then on their own, so that they could learn this culture and get merged in it. Its a great feeling to see them enjoying this all and it brings a lot of satisfaction. Well, something which I can not make them understand is the pains I have gone through here when there was no body to talk to for days, when the stress took its toll on me, when some unfortunate events happened , when the death striking silence used to make me mad. But at some point of time during their stay they will get bored, the excitement will slowly go and they surely will understand this feeling to a remote extent. At present they are extremely happy and enjoying the new change in their life. Which is what matters. I am preparing myself also for the stage when they will not be here and when US will again suck. And then it will suck big time. It will be depressing, silent and lonely. When the silence would return and when I would be all alone once again. When life will not be so joyful and happy. But at present, I am living the moments, cherishing memories and let them live theirs. This is called happiness. And I could understand it only because I have gone through the pains to understand its importance. So what if it will not be there tomorrow. It will lose its charm, if all I had was happiness. This is a great deal. Watching them satisfied brings a great satisfaction to my heart and that is what matters.

I could never ask for more. This is like a dream come true. A live dream which got into reality so fast that I now find it hard to believe that once I used to worry about how I could make it happen. Right from finances, to everything. I guess some dreams do come true if they are longed for, from heart. Some dreams do come true, if your heart is at the right place. Things happened so fast. I surely bet, God is watching me and helping me out.

Thanks God. I could never ask for more. Thanks for your blessings.


-Mrunal

The mind game....

How many different levels of exposure do we need?

When I was in India, at some point of time under the so called immature adult arrogance which every young guy has when he gets a new job, when he gets good money, starts understanding practicality, I always thought, I knew everything. I always thought I had all the exposure. That is the typical way a person thinks when he is unexposed to lot of situation yet he thinks he is super-exposed. It was not exactly arrogance but a certain kind of overconfidence, which one gets at different stages of ones life.

How much exposure is enough to make one understand different things. A villager in a village who carries lot of traditional views, who is amused by different novelties of a city life, has a certain different level of degree of lack of exposure. An uneducated person carries whole different set of level of non-exposure. Women, girls carry different mindset and different notion and have different ways of thinking. How does a soldier thinks when he is in battlefield, what kind of mental toughness he carries? How must have all the Nazi people who killed Jews in concentration camps must have thought? Killing people in millions like killing animals, what kind of mind do these men posses? What about terrorists who slaughter innocent people? How much exposure do these people have? Education need not make a person wise. Exposure need make one understand everything. How Each person thinks differently, gets exposed to different situations.

All those ruthless people, who kill people without slightest blot on their conscience have different mindset. All people who are emotional and who are sensitive to sadness and unhappiness carry different level of exposure. There is so much sadness in this world. Every person without exposure who does not understand many things the way they happen, become slave of some orthodox thoughts at some point of time and behaves in a certain fashion. Every body tries to justify things the way he/she does it. At some point of time even a most selfless person gets some selfishness. This is a human nature. People say I care for you, but I do not know how to show my care towards you. People feel by achieving something they will become happy, but the happiness keeps on eluding them from time to time. People try finding happiness in different things. People find some motive to live the life and move ahead.

Loneliness is a state of mind. One can be lonely even in presence of thousands of people, one can be lonely even in the presence of a dear one. People enjoy, or atleast they show that they enjoy. Every family tries to portray the best to the outside world. What lies inside, is a matter of concern and is known only to those individuals. Every body wears a mask of happiness and feeling of enjoyment to portray to others. Does not caring for others and enjoying and claiming I am happy, makes one happy? Does caring for others and getting sad because of the realization that there are certain things which you can not change and keeping oneself unhappy, a good thing? Lot of exposure makes one question lot of things in one's mind. It raises lot of controversies. silencing it by ignoring it or getting unhappy because of the other person is not understanding ones effort towards him/her, is it good? World is insensitive to lot of things. Lot of things become insensitive and un-important and at some point of time one feels what the heck, why should I care? Let it be. Nothing is gonna change. The struggle ends. The fire dies. The passion extinguishes. What is that?

Too many questions. Lot of them philosophical. Lot of them pracital, Lot of them useless. But its good, they are there. Many people do not get these questions at all because they never get exposed to lot of realities of life. Questions arise when one thinks, one thinks, when one is exposed to different scenarios. One gets exposed to different scenarios when one finds time to experience different thing. One finds time to understand and experience different things when one wants to get out of the monotonous race to live the life. So the ultimate point is to be different than the rat race that the world gets into and the rate race which at some point of time becomes so attractive to get oneself into, only to regret it later, by asking yourself why you got yourself into. And then continuing oneself in it because the mentality of there is escape from it. Many times exposure to different new things, can make one think on the right questions at the right stage of ones life. Many times thinking on the right questions, can make one understand different questions that many people face much later in their life and when the time had already flied away. Time is important. We have just a single lifetime. I am so curious to know what happens after death. I many times think what is the point in committing suicide if the ultimate end is death and when you really do not know what lies in front of you after death? If somebody says yes, the problems will be solved, tensions will be gone, suicide is good. But when the whole question of what lies afterwards is not known, making it happen is really courageous. I mostly believe suicide happens in rage of fit, without much thought. Its a sudden impulse, nobody plans a suicide. It just happens. If somebody plans and dies, then I think that person is the most courageous person on earth. But then the foremost question of if he was courageous he would fight out his way out of the mess comes to mind. So I believe suicides happen on impulse.

Exposure to lot of things can change things. It can make you unhappy, because now one knowns different scenarios and outcomes and possibilities. Many people do not want to understand sad part of living, they do not like to be a part of some sadness. All they want is happiness. Good for them. What happens to them when at some point of time they are faced with some threatening moments. God knows. Exposure can change the way one thinks. But again its a chicken and egg problem. One gets exposure only if one wants to think on the right questions.

This is complicated. Its a totally mind game.


-Mrunal

Silicon Valley, Indian Entrepreneurs and TieCon

Stable government was awesome news. Finally I hope we would see some great bold decisions from government. Indian's are finally coming together. Awesome verdict.
I liked Rahul Gandhi's role. I wish he becomes a HRD minister in the cabinet. We need him. This election saw lot of changes in Indian politics. Awesome to read all of them and felt great to see things finally happening and Indians thinking for a better future. Long way to go. I wish the success continues.

I spent my entire day today in Santa Clara, Silicon Valley, attending the largest conference of Indian Entrepreneurs in the world. TieCon as it is called. It was an awesome learning experience and cleared lot of conceptions I had in mind about the way things happen in Silicon Valley. It brought lot of surprises. It revived memories of my commute in Silicon Valley during the summer for Internship. It was hopelessly tiring then 

Here is a link to TieCon
www.tiecon.org

Around 700 Indian entrepreneurs under a single roof. White people are rare to be seen in Silicon Valley. There around 1 million Indians in Silicon Valley in all, with around 700 startups or other businesses to their credit. Every time I visit Silicon Valley I return home with new experiences. In my school there are just 8, 10 Indians and just 30 miles away in Silicon Valley all you see are only Indians. Today after staying amongst core professionals I could see how immature the crowd in Santa Cruz which mostly constitutes of students, looks like. I could observe that Santa Cruz felt like a laid back village in front of Silicon Valley. I could sense that I had a different behavior in there and as soon as I entered Santa Cruz, the behavior was changing. As soon as I entered my house it was different. It was great to observe the way my mood was changing. It was great to be present amongst real people in flesh than virtual people on Internet which I am always, in Santa Cruz. I felt blessed to be away from Internet, where I could think without disturbance. I could sense the change.

I went there to have an experience of the spirit of entrepreneurship and I was spellbound with the struggle people make. So many diverse areas, so many experiences. Listening to inspirational speeches by great entrepreneurs such as Founders of LinkedIn, Zappos and listening to lot of success stories surely builds inspiration. Networking session is something which is really worth to watch as people linger in hallways to make new contacts, exchange business deals and grow their network. Its worth an experience to see a mix of seasoned entrepreneurs ( very very few of them actually) and young entrepreneurs mingling around, sitting discussing lot of business related things. This is a crowd of mostly new aspiring entrepreneurs. So you mostly do not see established ones. Lot of learning by just watching them like how they behave and conduct themselves. Lessons of how to communicate in the professional world and network with people.

From attending lot of panel sessions right from social entrepreneurship, mobile trends, cloud computing, latest trends in technology, venture capitalist sessions to Indian economy, new Indian Government’s role and how business community feels relived of a stable government it had lot of food for thought. Well, it is a different story altogether that such conferences do not discuss how badly some startups closed and how bad the effect was overall. At the end after receiving so much information you feel tired 

Some lessons to be learnt and some experiences to be remembered. The major lesson learnt is there is always somebody with a better view of things, wiser and it is really important to keep in mind that there are always people out there with more experience, knowledge and wisdom. You will reach there some day if you take enough efforts. Do not stress out yourself. And look up to them. Do not get complacent that you know everything, and at the same time do not feel bad that you do not know many things. It will come eventually. Listen to what wise people say and share about their experiences. Always stays in a group of people wiser than you, so that you will grow always.
Well American entrepreneurs are very smart and exceptionally talented. But they are really very few, but they stand out, because they grow in the exceptional culture of Silicon Valley which nurtures entrepreneurship and the spirit. I witnessed it live today.

It is observed that great companies are born in recession and depression. Let’s wait and watch, who is the big one that emerges out of this recession.

Negativity

Why I write all these posts? A main reason is for myself. I write because I know that I was in a state like this sometime back and when I visit them again. I could recall those moments exactly from the day and date. It helps me analyze myself. It acts as my own self motivating factor and a self note type of thing. It helps me to keep track of myself and where I am heading. In Software terminology this is called Project Management or project planning. This is my personal planning and it surely helps me. My professor says writing down things makes you think in a more clear and concrete way. It poses new questions in mind. So this is something good.

The world around us is full of negative people. Everybody has his/her own set of problems. Everybody is unhappy deep down there in ones heart. Everybody has some ambition of some sort and everybody is craving to be someone. It is very easy to get demotivated by hoards of people surrounding, start thinking negatively and self doubting your own thoughts. It works like a group based protocols. When large number of people start saying you are bad and useless, you start believing in that somewhere. Somethings are needed to get out of that mold. Something are needed to build inner motivation and inner strength. To stand tall in this world, to challenge unusual behavior. To ask questions and confirm in your mind that you are correct and the other person is wrong. I many times feel how people claim so many things and talk so confidently and try to demotivate you. And I sometimes do get demotivated and feel tremendously low. But somewhere loneliness teaches you a lot of thinking and analysis and then you know that you are correct, its just that you could not outsmart the other guy in his talks. Debating is a great art, which very few possess.

It takes immense strength to swim against tide, to think on your own about what is correct and what is wrong, to keep on doing the correct things. To bring changes in ones thinking. Writing helps me shed away that negativity. People do laugh. People do make fun. I feel bad about them since it shows their immaturity of level of understanding. A stay in US exposes you to many hard hit questions and exposes you to lot of things. And if you think, then you tend to improve. Now days, I feel people back in India behave very immaturely many times. I do not understand how to explain some things to some fools who think they know everything and who think highly of themselves. Loneliness is good. Because it atleast makes you shielded from all these fools, since most of the world is full of fools and nonsense people. So being lonely is good many times. Getting complacent about one self is bad. Talking too much philosophy and no action is worst. Your value is zero if you can not face the real problems in real world. Loneliness is not the answer. Getting away from people is not the answer. Loneliness just helps analysis and gives time.

I get frustrated a lot sometimes just because here I have to take care of damn every single thing. Right from Studies, to household things, family responsibilities. Frustration builds manifold sometimes and I end up spending useless days wasting a lot of time. Motivation dies. Lot of negative energy builds up. It feels like head would blow up and last thing I would want is to stay in this state. I speak with same age friends, I understand that they have same problems somewhere, I understand that its not only me who has problems but the entire world is full of problems, people face the same questions, they fight the same things as I do. It brings a level of comfort to me. I understand that its not only me. Its psychological, mind always wants to have similar state people with oneself to soothe itself. May be that is what is called the comfort zone. I speak with good friends of mine who are motivated, who are doing things differently, take guidance from them, seek their help. It shows a bigger picture. Frustration comes when there are so many things to do at one time and nothing is progressing. I feel like running away. But now I realize once you set deadlines, try finishing up things, there comes some level of confidence that I managed to complete that and it brings lot of motivation. And slowly things change. Once you realize that the frustration is coming because of all these things, things change. I get calm. That is what I call watching your mind as a third person. Separating yourself from your mind. Letting it calm down. Patting him soothingly to stay calm and to assure him that things would be fine soon. It works great. Why I am writing down it because later someday I would read this and feel happy that I have gone through so many different things and experiences.

So many times now I feel what did I achieve in 2 years of my stay in UCSC. I many times feel I did nothing when I compare myself with other people who are much ahead in life. Then I compare myself with myself and I feel I achieved so much. I feel great and satisfying. I feel good that UCSC happened. I now believe that present makes me more happy. Future makes me tense and past makes me unhappy. So I try staying in present. But sometimes people make it very difficult by asking questions about future plans and lot of things. I feel I do not have any plans. I have some short term plans. People with all sort of questions make me crazy. Note to myself. Do not compare yourself with people. Strictly avoid comparisons of any sort. They will be there but keep on working on your own stuff and good things will happen. I believe in God, as an abstract concept, not as a statue in some temple. I never go to any temple. But I believe somewhere there he stays and watches my good things and guides me.


In India people tend to have lot of misconception about lot of things. People have lot of prejudgments. I am writing this because I sometimes tend to forget who I am and what I have achieved and get lost in people's opinions. I am going to re-read this post again and again myself to keep on reminding myself about things not to do and to stay away from and what I have learned here. Asking questions is considered foolish in India. One most important thing I learned here is do not hesitate to ask even a damn dumb questions. Let people have any bad opinion about your intelligence or whatever. Do not give a damn to what people say or think of you. Make it an integral habit and you will understand you are at ease and can do things confidently. Ignoring people and having do not care attitude is not the same. These people suck because they behave irresponsibly without any thought-fullness, lot of achievements could be made by just selfish attitude and dont care attitude. Lot of things could be achieved by staying insensitive to what goes around and staying in ones own world. Americans mostly succeed because of this solo attitude. And the world is full of such people. So stay confident. India is a land where role models are missing totally and people hold any successful person in high esteem. You are either successful or a failure. What they see is how much successful he is. The effort that went in that is never seen. People are crazy for star status. Its a land of people who need good heroes, but all we are getting is Stars, who get so much complacent of their success that they forget the basics. The basics are totally missing and India is going to dogs.


After an age one starts understanding many things. Why some things happen the way they happen. Why somethings can not happen the way they should happen. May be this is what is called maturity and it helps many times to wash out that negativity. I guess I am getting in that stage of maturity like many of my same age friends. This is a nice transition.

Living an American Dream ....

I happened to ride in a Korean friends car today to her home. She is doing her PhD in economics and is in 4th year. She stays just 15 mins ride from my place. I have explored Santa Cruz more than any body else here and know many places in the town. I was mesmerized by the beauty and colors on the way to her home. I wish to do an exclusive photoshoot of Santa Cruz houses soon. And then I realized suddenly this is what is called American Dream !!!

American dream. Santa Cruz is a perfect place to visualize what a great comfortable life could be when it is all set. A nice bunglow type fenced house, colorful flowers splashing across in the garden, fruits like apple, peach, pear sprouted on trees in the garden, a cute / big / hairy dog / cat jumping in the garden. Lots of colors, trees and a soothing music in the background. A car parked in the driveway. A garage full of bicycles, gardening tools, and random stuff. A nice wooden patio overlooking sea and a nice energetic beautiful day. The place where I stay in somewhat similar to this, though not exactly. So to some extent I too am lucky :)

Americans live their life in a great way. Now its a different story altogether that the savings rate here is almost zero and most of the things are on credit.(Recession?) Lets not get into that debate. Its a different story. This post is not about how Americans should live ideally, but its about how they live at present. Santa Cruz is a home to many millionaires from Silicon Valley and boasts great housing localities. An average house in Santa Cruz is so much beautiful and the way it is maintained by the owner makes one feel envy of their living conditions. I keep on visiting many such places to visit my American friends, professors, American elders like in coming week I am going to meet a pastor and his wife from a local church. We have long discussions from Indian politics to Gandhi and many other topics, with almost all of them. It feels great to tell them about Indian culture and understand American culture. I like these discussions with elders over here.

I stay amongst the best American culture. California is supposedly very progressive state with high living standards and very less crime rate. Massachussets is supposedly the highest profile state in USA by the standard of the education since it boasts the prime IVY league and oldest traditional Universities in America like likes of Harward, MIT, Cambridge etc. Not entire US is so well advanced and progressive. Many people across US still believe in racism, ethinicity and might be less educated and hence do possess lot of traditional orthodox views. California because of its Technology industry is home to largest number of high skilled migrants and does not have this problem. So people in California are most liberal in their thoughts and actions than the rest of the US.

Santa Cruz is one such place. Awesomely beautiful, splashed with colors, beaches and with abundant natural beauty. So one gets to stay amongst best of the American culture here. I see a mix of both immature crowd (The University undergraduate students. There are around 20,000 undergrads in my university and out of these 65% are females) So the height of immaturity is splendidly high. Right from no clothes and stark nakedness to fully clothed attire. Right from drugs, sex and boozing to church, religion, higher studies One gets to see all variety and action in a single place. So this is a mixed culture. People respect your privacy. They allow you to move ahead in life, think on the right problems. They raise questions. So the culture is in abundance if one wants to learn good values from it. Ignoring it in typical Indian way by saying American families suck and America does not have family oriented culture is a hypocrisy. I many times wonder how are Indian families where many things get suppressed under different pretext are great? I find many hypocrisy's in our society, where people say one thing and do another thing. People make tall claims without knowing their authenticity.

American dream is this. I always think so. I many times feel great that in this university there are hardly 8 Indians. Because of that I get to explore all these things. Yes, it gets lonely many times but I manage to overcome that. This is a new experience. I feel America achieves so much just because of this. People here think on the exact right problems that will make them move ahead. The entire other things are taken care by government. It supports your ambitions and gives you lot of freedom. American dream is this also.

I many times wish, India atleast to some extent with its new found way of people coming to US and returning back get to experience this and it brings changes in aspirations and people's thinking. I wish people think big and I wish people get all this good back to home and improve it back there. I would like to have a similar experience in India, not so fast but atleast in near future.

This is an American dream. !!!!! And I am living it to its fullest. Well, I am getting my parents visit me for next 3 months and I want them to see all this and experience this and carry these memories back to India. I want them to learn this culture and experience the new freshness and learn new values. What could be a better deal than that !!! I want them to have a part of their life lived in an American Dreamy way too. And I am sure they will appreciate this and enjoy it.

I am excited...Thanks America.


-Mrunal

Tips for MS/PHD students ...

Some tips for MS / PHD students for being successful in their studies while at graduate school.

1. Be open minded. Do not fall in the trap of I want to stick to this specialization. This is an Indian mentality. Get out of it. It does not work in US. Explore and get exposure to different areas and take courses accordingly.

2. Chose difficult projects, different projects, long projects. Do projects in groups. Understand the good practices that your team members are using. Observer their work methods and chose the good ones. Discuss. Chose group members such that you will end up sharing and learning things. Do not chose group members because you are his friend. Chose on the basis of knowledge. If you are less knowledgeable, go to a group which has clever people so that at the end of it you would have emerged wiser.

3. Chose the courses wisely. Do not get bogged down by the course content. Have a diverse yet related courses. Like if you are in systems, good courses are statistics(undergrad level) (this is needed for analysis of data), operating systems, storage systems, distributed systems, data mining, database systems, multimedia systems, computer networking, algorithms, logic algorithms etc. Do not fear the ones you do not know. Understand the way this system works and try to build up the context and prerequisite for the courses you are not good at by taking extra undergraduate counterpart courses. US education system is very flexible and it allows you lot of flexibility in terms of lot of things. So make most of it. Get exposed to different problems so that when similar situation arises you can have atleast some background to think on it. You need not emerge out expert.

4. Take some courses which are inter-disciplinery ie. take some course in departments other than Engineering like say Psychology? Music? depends on your interest. Understand the life other than engineering. You will be surprised to see how different it is and what attitude it carries. Be socially responsible.

5. Professors are weird people. Do not feel bad if they do not talk nicely sometimes or not reply to your mails. Each professor is different. Some are really good, some are really considerate, some are good researchers but not good lecturers, some are good lecturers but not good researchers, some are harsh with spoiled attitude, some are very humane, some are not so. Understand their behavior and analyze them.

6. Difficult courses usually have a Teaching Assistant session where students are helped with their difficulties. Make most out of it. Learn how to use this time for a better learning and understanding of the material. Do not break your head on a complex problem under ego. Take hints and help of other people. Acknowledge the hints and help in your work. Share the credit. Do not brag. Plagiarism could be dangerous.

7. Homeworks are meant for making the material covered in class better understandable. You can learn new subject only if some problem in it is given to you and you break your head thinking about it. It is only during this time that you will face more problems and then only you will explore the subject more and appreciate it more. The satisfaction of solving a complex problem could be more than satisfaction of having a beautiful / HOT girl sitting next to you :) Experience it. haha. Homeworks are meant for that. So do that. Do not try stealing others ideas and copy. Get read of the typical Indian mindset.


8. Learn the material before hand. By learn I mean before professor teaches it in class, go over it in books, wikipedia, Internet. Get into the context of the subject so that the lecture would become interesting and you could identify yourself with what the professor is teaching. After the class is over, spend some time thinking about what professor talked. You will have better chances of remembering it, if you recall it immediately after the class. Your chances of understanding things improve manifold if you spend some time beforehand in going over lecture material, which is usually posted on class website by professor. Or take a look at previous years class websites.

9. Different professors have different ways and styles of conducting lectures. Do not try to force yourself in a single style. It will not work. Observe what is needed and how it could be achieved for the current class. Observe your methods each day so that you can correct them and improve upon them. At the end of your MS you will have lot of learning styles which would make you a real fast learner.

10. Take some undergraduate level courses. Audit them, do not enroll in them. By auditing I mean, just go and listen to lectures, take notes. Do not do homeworks, or appear for exams. Undergraduate classes are taught really nicely and it would give you a comparison basis for Indian education that you learned. Understand the difference between graduate and undergraduate ways of teaching by different professors.

11. Make American friends. Understand their culture. Pick their good habits. Discuss American and Indian culture with them. Make them understand Indian culture.

12. Attend different seminars that might be conducted in the school. Keep abreast with latest happenings in your field and in engineering in general.

13. Well that is most of it. Do not enter graduate school with the sole aim of entering US job market. American education system offers lot more than that. Make most out of your stay here. Enjoy it. Get stressed, depressed. The feeling that you made through it successfully at the end on your own is immensely gratifying. Experience it.

All the best...


-Mrunal

Blogging can kill you...In these countries

Freedom of speech is not granted for everyone. I suddenly realized it today after reading this article.

A note to all bloggers ...

http://mideast.blogs.time.com/2009/05/05/blogging-can-kill-you/


-Mrunal

Orkut and Facebook....

Orkut has become a favorite past time for me here with my only connection to outside world. I keep on checking mails to see if somebody sends mail to me :) The feeling of being neglected and the feeling of needed by someone is something which gets really stronger when one is away in a foreign country.

Every other day there is some update on Orkut of somebody getting committed. Every other day somebody posts happy looking snaps of friends celebrating, enjoyment. When one is busy in studies, when one is frustrated with the daily tensions of graduate school and in general, sometimes visiting social networking sites becomes too a stress too, because by psychology of human mind one starts comparing one's life with outside world and how cool the outside world is. I recently happened to read an article on "Facebook and social networking sites and the stress". And suddenly I could realize that my analysis was correct. Social networks do build stress when you are already stressed, it builds the peer pressure when you see people doing many things. It brings comparisons. Mind at that instant is so preoccupied with stressful thoughts that one gets the feeling that, his/her own life sucks and for the rest of the worlds its very enjoyable. It forgets ones own joyful moments, happy feelings and feels bad. If the mind is in good state and if it visits social networks, it feels good. So much on psychology. I watch my mind as it makes different claims these days, from happiness to depression, from joy to stress. And I could see the way it behaves and feels amused by the way it changes its actions. Some times loneliness teaches you different ways of survival :P haha..

So Orkut and facebook sometimes feel like my biggest enemies, but sometimes they also feel like best friends to stay in touch with people. The feelings change as per situations :P I guess Internet is changing the way people behave. Earlier their used to be gossiping at coffee tables now its on social sites :) ..

But yes, its a great supporter and leveler because it makes you feel comfortable. Most basic reason of sorrow is comparison and somewhere the social sites provide a huge framework for that :) Everything comes with boon and bane :P

I wonder what are the essays in current school kids curriculum. Earlier it used to be like television boon or bane? Game has changed now and I think so must have been the essays. I bet.

American Education - Financial Aid problems

Here is a nice series of articles that I came across today while browsing TIME magazine. It gives a great insight into the way American institutes of Education be it secondary schools to elite higher education schools, manage their funds.

A nice informative read if you were always interested in how American students fund their own tutions and manages huge fees. And a current look and statistics on the financial aid problems faced by American schools.

If you analyze it carefully, you will understand what Indian education system lacks and what are the problems associated with it.


http://www.time.com/time/specials/packages/article/0,28804,1838709_1838713_1838722,00.html


-Mrunal

The information Week...

I have decided to post the links of the coolest information websites that I find while surfing web on my blog from today onwards. Here goes the first one. I have some of them already in the side section on the actual site www.mrunalg.com But a post will act as a reminder for myself as when I hit upon them.

The most neat information website based on latest happenings in silicon valley I have found till date.



http://www.informationweek.com


The largest conference of Entrepreneurs in Silicon valley coming up on 15th, 16th May and I plan to attend it. Quite excited :)



http://www.tiecon.org/home


"Struck by lightning:Curious world of probabilities". An awesome book I recently read on day to day examples of probabilities and how it could help us remove stress in our day to day lives.

Limited google book preview
http://books.google.com/books?id=855qE9nDYhYC&printsec=frontcover&dq=struck+by+lightning&ei=HdH0SeSCF4vOkwSL86DyCQ#PPA23,M1


And I hope I find more...


-Mrunal

Bug in the Blogger.com

Sorry for the spams that you might be getting from my site recently. There is a bug in the blogger.com and some of my earlier posts are getting reposted again and again.

My apologies for the inconvenience and the spam.


-Mrunal

Why I hate people's mentality many times...

I sometimes feel Indians under the name of culture tend to overdo many things which they should not be doing. I look at many households which say that their kids are growing under influence of great culture and Sanskar. But when I think somewhere deep I find there are many hypocrisy's behind all those claims.

India is a big country with people from all strata. Highly educated people, highly influential people, large middle class, lower class and poor people. Since I belong to a middle class family and that is the one which consists of the largest one I feel many things about it. I first of all hate the mentality of enough is enough and everything should be available without doing much efforts. There are large number of people out there who keep on complaining how their living conditions do not improve, how they do not get better facilities, how Indian politics is in deep shit, how things are getting to worst. Money stays the foremost question in front of all middle class families and the ambitions are limited to making money to make ends meet and have a decent life style. Very few people chose to think out side the daily routine, take risks, get exposure of new things and move ahead. Most of the times people draw stereotypes in their head about their abilities.

A typical life style is both parents earning in daily jobs, saving money for their kids future, kids going to schools, graduating from different professional levels such as engineering, science or similar domains. Typical expectations are for children to get married once they have their first job, decent salary, and enough saving capacity. Then happens marriages which supposedly are made and decided in heavens. Indians do marriages with blessings of all the auspicious Gods, by considering the star signs and as long as things match up to some extent. Mothers have typical expectations of their daughter in law staying in their control, daughter in laws feel it unnecessary after a point of time. Son tries to match up things. Many times fathers are not bothered. What is needed is mutual respect for eachother, but many times thats exactly what goes missing. Things happen automatically if its present. And the saga continues. Equations are changing now days with girls getting equal career opportunities and having say in financial matters, but many times orthodox thoughts stay the same. And the life continues. Dowry's are expected from brides parents and a girl child is still considered a load on a parents shoulders. Money is wasted on lavish marriages even by taking expensive loans and to keep ones status in relatives. These relatives who are more menace than blessing do every possible bit to spoil the relations. Heavy Dowry's are taken by groom's parents under pretext of different things. I feel pathetic about all those parents and all those grooms who make themselves look like a commodity in market who is in sell and the highest bidder gets the prize. Things are changing slightly but over and large they still are same amongst many families.


I hate the mentality where parents bring up their kids with the aim of kids should support them during their old age. I hate the mentality when the aim behind marriage is to get more dowry many times. I hate the mentality where son/daughter can not oppose his/her parents views just because they are parents and elders, even though they are wrong. Why not empower yourself and your kids with so much confidence and encouragement that they will do things on their own and will be able to sustain themselves? Why to provide them with every comfort while growing up and expect favors in returns? I know many families do that. Kids loving their parents is a different thing and parents expecting their kids to do everything for them in their old age is a different thing. If the upbringing is correct, these things happen automatically. There are no expectations and these things happen on their own. Take any strong family. When I say strong I do not mean financially strong, I mean strong in terms of values. One need not have strong financial backing to have strong values. They need not be together. But what I find in most households is this thing is missing. Some one might say, I am getting influenced by American Culture. I will say no, these are not tied to specific culture. This is about empowering the society and bringing changes in its mentality. Parents and kids are a great relation and expectations of any sort in it only spoils it. Great families are built on the values and they preserve these values for generations.

So my hatred for the Indian mentality comes from the narrow minded attitude of expecting things without trying hard. My hatred comes from the fact of justifying ones actions even if they are wrong. It comes from the fact of staying in the mentality of this is enough for me and my life is all set and what ever happens now, let it happen. It comes from the fact of letting someone else control your life and how it moves on instead of taking control of it yourself, trying hard to be someone and making an impact. It comes from the fact that under the pretext of culture many orthodox things get done but nobody wants to change them because in one way or other those people gets benefit out of it. So many more things.

Education is the biggest gift every family could give to their children. Exposure and the mentality to get accommodated in the new culture as it changes, observing good things from it and staying away from bad things, does not happen in many families. Kids do not try teaching or keeping their parents in pace with latest happenings. Parents many times do not bother. Things get worst and it ends in worst. Happy families are very few and the ones which are not happy do not understand why they are unhappy and make changes in their behavior. Each person is different and may be if he does not feel the need to change his behavior as an adult, that means he will never change it at all in future. Change is difficult and troublesome for many people. Routine which is very easy is accepted always.

I hope some day things would change and people stop getting individualistic and understand the root cause of problems and try improving from their rather than expecting things to change on their own.