Being emotional....

I always feel I am highly sensitive and emotional. I always feel I have been like this since early days. I often wonder how complex a human mind could be. There are so many types of people. Self centered people, sensitive people, kind people, people with don't care attitude, negative people, positive people, emotional people, hard people and many more types. I often wonder are people born with certain characteristics or do they develop certain properties as they grow? This is a post related to lots of questions I often face related to human behavior. I will also indicate being in a different country could affect some behaviors.


Yes, people definitely are affected by the situations they face while growing up, their behavior gets affected a lot by their surroundings. But some questions I have are does the basic nature of a person to some extent belongs to any type? I have not find any theory related to that till now in my reading. I am sure there are theories there suggesting some research on that. There are many theories suggesting behavioral change because of the situation a person was brought up like say in an educated family, in a poor family, in a well cultured family, in a troubled family etc etc. Is arrogance, humbleness, respectful behavior, angriness, dominance and similar characteristics external and not inherent present in a human being? As I understand a person becomes arrogant if he is not given proper advice towards how to look at different aspects, or not guided properly or many times is deprived of things which he/ she feels he should be getting or is feeling superior towards somethings. So this is something which is grown or accumulated over years. So this is not internal and since it is not internal, I am sure it could be cured and removed once that person realizes how the arrogance might affect him in future. The awareness needs to be there. Angriness is similar. So I believe there is cure for each one of these negative aspects of personal characteristics. Because they are not inherent to a human nature and got accumulated because of external factors. So the mental patterns could be changed over a period of time with care, attention, willingness to change and the motivation to change. Motivation is needed in every aspect of life and it is also true in this aspect.


I believe family and parents play the most important role in all these situations. A growing child looks towards its parents for its role model, he learns about things happening in the world through its parents, he gets the love and attention and knowledge from his parents, he understand different trends like importance of money, education, manners, culture, social aspects, healthy relationships, respect from his parents. So parents are his first role models. And the right upbringing of the kid surely develops him into a confident, mature and responsible adult. But unfortunately most of the times this picture perfect family is missing everywhere. Many of the times parents stay unaware of the child's need while he is growing up. The strong bond lacks. Many times there is lack of exposure amongst parents in different aspects. I believe that todays technology world has brought lots of information to people but at the same time it is also taking people away from eachother because of the cut throat competition. It is disturbing the family culture in a new and uniquely different way.

But we still have other type of families too. Husbands dominating their wives and feeling that they are superior. We still have mothers who feel helpless many times because they do not get the support from husbands in raising the kid. We still have the mentality where husband thinks his role is solely limited to providing money and a wife's role is solely limited to raising the child or earning money and raising kid. Yes, our cities are growing but sadly we still have these concepts in abundance and still in existence. It is during such situations that I feel, how does inherent nature of a child comes into picture? Say if a child is emotional, does that gets affected because of these external factors? Does he becomes less emotional? It surely does affect his attitude towards looking at life, but this is something external again.


Money is another important factor amongst all this. Is it true that kids of rich are successful? Is it that kids of middle class are less successful? Is it true that kids of poor are worst successful? Money brings the power to purchase things. It makes things a lot easier. But again its the basic human nature, the mannerism in which kid is brought that plays role in its future development. In Marathi this is called "Sanskar" or manners. Many times parents realize their mistakes when things have gone out of hand. Many times they feel the regrets. Many times they try to change the things. The kid who is grown as an adult by this time has developed his own methods of thinking and it becomes difficult if he / she is not willing to admit that there are problems and solutions could be found on the same. The realization is important on both parents as well as the on part of son/ daughter. And I believe everybody reaches that level of maturity at one point of time. Everybody understands that things he / she doing is not correct. What is needed is good effort to change the ways and things would improve. Again that hunger to improve, to get ahead in life, being positive is sole care for such efforts. Negativity can drive people in depression. Depression leads to more negativity. This is a vicious cycle. Strong will is needed to get out of it and lead a good life. So it all depends on how things are around you while you are growing. It all depends on how early one becomes aware of such a trend in ones life. The awareness and positivity is the most important aspect of everything. But then one can not blame the conditions alone solely. Conditions are there. But once you realize the problems and how the solutions could be found for them, active progress towards it is what matters. Is this what called maturity? Must be.


I like the Hindi movie "Tarey Zameen Pe" immensely because Aamir Khan has portrayed the relations and feelings of a kid very beautifully and genuinely. There is tremendous sincerity in the movie which touches hearts. I wish many more such movies are made.

Being emotional. This all discussion on basic human nature now brings me to another important aspect which is being emotional. Every person is emotional and sensitive to some extent. It is said that even hard core criminals feel sensitive towards small innocent kids. Emotions are present in every one amongst us. Everybody craves for the care, love, feeling of importance, attention. The balance changes when these things lack. Person behaves badly when there is disturbance in these aspects. Emotions are many times suppressed to show the strong-ness, feeling of superiority.
But I feel personally being emotional is very good to some extent as it keeps you sensitive about the things happening around you. It makes you think about the world around you. It is good to be emotional but it is good to be aware that you are emotional. Awareness is importance, because then it makes you understand that you are doing certain things out of your emotional nature. It makes you aware of why you are doing certain things the way you do them. It makes you aware why you should not be doing it the way you have been doing it all these years. Being aware changes your ways of looking at your own thought process and makes you think on your actions. It keeps one awake and alert always. It makes you responsible as you know what you are doing. It helps you avoid lots of mistake which you have been doing till now.


Being in a foreign country away from parents, friends, near and dear ones could surge the emotional need to a new high level. Girls are by nature very emotional, so being in a foreign country is kind of tough on them a lot. If you are not with the people you are familiar with or till you have new set of friends in the new country, things could get depressing and very bad. "Man is a social animal", this is quoted since a long time and this phrase makes its importance felt in a foreign country. Simple simple things like a snap of places you used to visit back in home country. Or snap of your childhood memories, or snap of your ageing parents, snap of the good old days spent by you with your girlfriend if you had any, could make a personal emotional. It is very difficult to express those feelings for a person sitting with others in India because he / she has not gone through that experience and as is the case, importance of things is not felt unless you find it missing. Many times one misses the places rather that people like if one used to visit some temple back in country then a snap of that could get things in bad shape emotionally. But again these are the things which make the person stronger also as he / she learns the survival tricks and sustains the rough patch. People survive the emotions. People learn to control their mind. People emerge out stronger.


This is human nature. So complex. Human mind is the most powerful medium. If its positive about something, it can do wonders. Negativity can draw equal disastrous effects on it. You can not change the way a person thinks about you, however good your intentions towards that person might be. You can not do anything if the person in front of does not open up and keeps the things to himself / herself. You can not understand what is going on in another person's mind. Human mind is a great experience.

I believe with good nurture and love things change. I believe the will to be positive changes everything. I believe minds could be changed, however hard the efforts could be. I believe someday things improve. I believe in the power of emotions and power of being emotional.